And the thing I learned…is that I had forgotten what a poisonous cancer “nice” can be. That we’re socialized — tortured — into this borderline personality disorder, as a culture, that says everything is all good or all bad, and that if you’re not nice you’re a bitch, but then the definition of “nice” keeps expanding and expanding until it includes ever doing anything that someone else doesn’t agree with, it includes having opinions, having a voice, it eventually includes knowing and trusting yourself. To be nice is to apologize for existing….What I still have to keep reminding myself every day…is that “nice” and “kind” are such different concepts that they may as well be opposites.You think they’re synonyms and you act like they’re synonyms, but the truth is that one turns outward, into the world as a positive force, and one turns inward, as a self-injury. As a dampening of the light. And I still sometimes have to get this basic on myself when I’m making choices: Am I being Nice, or am I being Kind? Because I think I am a very kind person, a compassionate person, but I wouldn’t — and I don’t think anyone who’s ever met me would — ever call me Nice. — Jacob at Television Without Pity, who frequently turns his tv recaps into ridiculously wise textbooks on How To Be.